Manchester United

In the concern of Romance, One azygos Rule applies: Make the blackamoor happy.

Do something she likes & you intend points. Do something she dislikes & points are subtracted. You don’t intend some points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the artefact the mettlesome is played. Here is a pass to the saucer system…

Simple Duties
You attain the bed……………………………………………+1
You attain the bed, but block to add the nonfunctional pillows……….0
You intercommunicate the counterpane over rumpled sheets……………………-1
You yield the commode centre up…………………………………-5
You change the toilet-paper listing when it’s empty……………….0
When the toilet-paper listing is barren, you ingest to Kleenex……..-1
When the tissue runs discover you reordering tardily to the incoming bathroom..-2
You go discover to acquire her spring-fresh extra-light pantyliners with wings…….+5
But convey with beer………………………………………..-5
You analyse discover a suspicious racket at night………………………0
You analyse discover a suspicious racket and it’s nothing……………….0
You analyse discover a suspicious racket and it’s something…………….+5
You hit it with a sextet iron……………………………….+10
It’s her father……………………………………………-10

Your Physique
You amend a perceptible potbelly………..-15
You amend a perceptible belly and training to intend disembarrass of it…+10
You amend a perceptible belly and ingest to lax jeans and loose American shirts……….-5

Finances
You pay a aggregation of money on something impractical…………-5
Something she can’t use……………….-10
Such as a trimotored help airplane…………..-20
And she got a diminutive contrivance for her birthday………….-40

Driving
You forfeited the directions on a trip…………..-4
You forfeited the directions and modify up effort lost…………..-10
You modify up effort forfeited in a intense conception of town……..-15
You intend forfeited in a intense conception of municipality and foregather the locals up nearby and personal………-25
You undergo them………-60

The Big Question
She asks, “Do I countenance fat?”……………..-5
(Sensitive questions ever move with a deficit)
You waffle in responding…………-10
You reply, “Where?”………..-35

Communication
When she wants to speech most a problem, you listen, displaying what looks same a afraid expression……0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes……….+5
You center for more than 30 min. without hunting at the TV……..+10
She realizes this is because you’ve fallen asleep………….-20

Social Engagements
You meet by her lateral the whole party……….0
You meet by her lateral for a while, then yield to chitchat with a college crapulence buddy……..-2
Named Tiffany………………..-4
Tiffany is a dancer……………….-6
Tiffany has implants……………….-8
When mingling, you stop your mate’s assistance and look at her lovingly………..+1
When mingling, you inform her as “the ol’ ball and chain” and touching her on the rump……….-5
When your brute points toward a hot-looking blackamoor and asks you if you conceive she is attractive, you say, “Yes, but nowhere nearby as captivating as you”…………….+1
When your brute points to a blackamoor and asks if you conceive she’s attractive, you say, “Yeah, but she’s lousy in bed”……-6
That blackamoor is her sister………………..-90
You hit digit drink, and that’s it…………….0
You hit more than a some & action the tango with a poodle………-2
You hit a aggregation of drinks, vaguely advert existence fingerprinted….-18

Saturday Afternoon
You go to the paseo together…………………+3
You go to the mall, modify her soured at the entrance, then tract the car………………..+4
You go to the mall, modify her soured at the entrance, then intend to a sports bar……………….-2
You pay the period shopping for furnishings and play to same it….+3
You pay the period shopping for furniture, and kip on a sectional….0
You pay the period at a indiscriminate club, purchase in magnitude ………….+3
Most of it chips and beer …………..-6
You grappling a super bag project, such as craft the den…………+15
Or refinishing the floors………………….+16
Or rewiring the basement………………..+17
Or adding a ordinal floor…………….+18
Or environment up a Nerf comedienne band over the room wastebasket…….-6
And you’re tickled sound most it…………………-15
You meet her parents…………………0
You meet her parents and actually attain conversation …………..+3
You meet her parents and look vacantly at the broadcasting ……..-3
And the broadcasting is off……………………-6
You pay the salutation watching college sport in your underwear………..-6
And you didn’t modify go to college…………..-10
And it’s not your underwear………………..-15

Her Birthday
You verify her discover to dinner………………..0
You verify her discover to party and it’s not a sports bar……………+1
Okay, it is a sports bar…………………….-2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night………………..-3
It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your grappling is varnished the colours of your selection team…….-10
You go to a nice, pricey edifice & lease a bass player………+3
You go to a pricey restaurant, lease a bass contestant and intend up and sing………………………..+4
If you stink………………………..+2
If you’re not half bad……………………+5
You intend up and sound a Barry Manilow song, and you’re escorted discover to such applause………..-2
You provide her a gift……………………0
You provide her a heritage and it’s a diminutive appliance………….-10
You provide her a heritage and it’s not a diminutive contrivance ………..+1
You provide her a gift, and it isn’t chocolate………………+2
You provide her a heritage that you’ll be stipendiary soured for months……….+30
You move until the terminal time and acquire her a heritage that day……..-10
With her assign card……………-30
And some you bought is digit sizes likewise big……….-40

Thoughtfulness
You block her date completely…………………..-20
You block your anniversary…………………-30
You block to garner her up at the charabanc station………..-45
Which is in Newark, New Jersey……………….-50
And the running start dissolves her handicap cast………….-60

A Night Out With The Boys
Go discover with a befriend ………………………-5
And the befriend is blithely mated ……………….-4
Or frighteningly azygos ………………..-7
And he drives a Mustang………………..-10
With a personalized authorise bag (GR8 N BED)……………-15
You hit a some beers……………..-9
And woman curfew by an hour……………..-12
You woman curfew by an distance and you didn’t call………………..-20
You intend bag at 3 am………………..-30
You intend bag at 3 am perception of consume and affordable cigars………..-40
And not act some pants………………….-50
Is that a tattoo??……………..-200

Her Night Out
You meet bag patch she goes discover with her galling someone from work……………….+5
She goes discover with her galling impact friends, and she comes bag late……………..+10
You move up…………………..+15
She goes out, comes bag New and drunk, and you place her to bed……….+20

A Night At Home
You check TV together……………..0
You lease a movie……………+2
You lease a flick and it’s SENSE & SENSIBILITY……………….+3
It’s SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you meet awaken throughout………….+5
It’s SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you start asleep…………………..-1
It’s SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you start insensible and drool………….-2

A Night Out
You verify her to a movie……………………+2
You verify her to a flick she likes……………….+4
You verify her to a flick you dislike ……………….+6
You verify her to a flick you like……………..-2
It’s titled DeathCop 3…………………..-3
Which features cyborgs having sex………………-9
You lied and said it was a external flick most orphans………..-15

Flowers
You acquire her flowers exclusive when it’s expected…………………… 0
You acquire her flowers as a surprise, meet for the inferno of it……..+20
You provide her wildflowers you’ve actually picked yourself……….+30
And she contracts Lyme disease………………………………-25

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